photos sometimes lie

i have just uploaded our bora photos in multiply, facebook, and friendster. it was a "perfect" vacation. bora is the place to be! true enough, many envied my so called fun life. photos don't always capture the whole picture. it does not go beyond the surface. yes, i may look like i'm happy but the truth is that i'm a person who is having a difficulty coming into terms with my past. i feel stuck and i feel like i'm developing this homing instinct with my situation. i don't know. i'm so fucked up. i always try to be in control. i can't let this happen to me. i mean, fuck..i can do more. i can be a better person. but my hang ups are stopping me. fuck, fuck, fuck!!! please, Lord, help me..