Friday, February 20, 2009


1. i am sensitive to others' needs
2. i care for others even though it seems that i don't
3. i am a happy go lucky person
4. i love making people laugh
5. i want to inspire people
6. i want to be a blessing to others
7. i strive to improve myself
8. i comfortably express myself through writing
9. i am very respectful
10. i strive to live my life to the fullest

also a letter to villete

i still have feelings for you. but i don't know if it's love or you're just a very bad habit to break. you're my addiction and i need to go to rehab for this. i guess my mind always drifts back to the time when i loved someone so much. it's incredible to know that i can love that way. ironically, i felt love for a person and at the same time i felt unloved by that same person. things happened already and i just can't get over it. i still feel bitterness. you made me feel i wasn't needed. you confused me with the letter you sent to villete. i don't know. i guess we won't see each other soon. I pray to God that we'll find our way to fix our stained relationship. i don't know. but i still haven't forgiven you fully.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

crooked beliefs

It always comes to a point where we have little belief in ourselves. Sometimes we have no belief in ourselves at all. Just when you're ready to give up, people close to you comes and make you remember that genuine person beneath your imperfections. We are blinded by the fact that we don't possess a certain trait. Thanks to our friends and loved ones, they take off those blinders and let us see clearly how great we really are.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

oh fuck

yes, everything in my life right now seems to be all fucked up. i have no job at the moment. i'm about to lose all my money. i'm having doubts with my business. i just can't seem to achieve something. i can't resist distractions. God, help me get a life! please?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

my own fight

the issue isn't about her and her ex anymore. it's about me knowing my worth without her as my reference. it's a fight on my own. she made me feel worthless. it's up to me now to rise against that fall.


i just saw her friendster profile. i felt a tightness in my chest. it was for real. it's like the flow of blood in my heart was disrupted. i knew exactly the reason why. i am insecure. she's the "replacement." compared to her, i feel nothing. but i know that i not nothing. we have differences. she's a trophy girlfriend and that's good. i just feel insecure. but so what? i can still be everything she's not.

Monday, February 2, 2009

negative to positive

i am becoming a person that i really hate. i hate negative people. i hate people who question their worth and then rubs off negative vibes to people around them. yet this negative thinking pattern is taking over me and i hate it. how do i reverse the situation? motivational quotes seem to lose its effect on me. what the fuck is wrong with me? Lord, please help me so i can help others. no amount of meditation seem to work. oh fuck it.