Thursday, June 25, 2009

time to sort out

damn it i live in the past sometimes the future but rarely the present. it's not supposed to be this way. but then again i hate to admit it but i find it difficult to live in the NOW. i guess it's only possible if you're really happy with the present.

why i look back..
i used to be a really open person. it's easy for me to like and trust people. after getting hurt so bad by random people, it's just so hard to appear vulnerable again. i noticed in myself that i ALWAYS appear strong but the truth is i'm not. i appear everything that i'm not. i guess i found it easier that way. i'm not getting hurt but i'm alienating myself from others.

into the future..
i daydream a lot, hoping that things will unfold the way that i want it or the way it would solve my situation. i picture it in my mind but it's never happening. i guess what i visualize isn't the best for me.

something better than what i think is best is going to happen. it's not my job to figure it out but to just welcome it with open arms.

thank you God for being there always.

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