adrenaline rush

Perhaps people who up and leave a life that they are used to are escaping reality. But I think it's the "reality" of others--that is, other people's idea of what life is supposed to be and how it's supposed to be lived--that they are actually shedding, so that they can make space for the kind of life, a way of living, that takes into consideration the things that they most value. A life, in other words, that reflects who they really are.
*reposted from Tara FT Sering's blog.

i love watching artists excel in their craft! it's like i can also feel the surge of adrenaline when they do what they love most. up to now, i continue to search for that thing that gives me an adrenaline rush. i believe it's performing on stage. baring myself naked, not literally on stage! hmm.. how bout a rockstar stint? i don't know.. i just want that adrenaline rush that is so contagious to the people witnessing that awe-inspiring event. i would love to be that person who pours out everything for what could be a life-changing performance of a lifetime.

the rockstar dream!

I'm currently listening to Chicosci's 7 Black Roses. Everytime I listen to this, I can't help but imagine playing this in guitar or drums and performing on stage. Oh, God. I wish you could help me learn to play an instrument. How bout violin? or guitar?

struggle

the more i struggle to have inner peace, the more powerless i feel. Lord, what do i need to do? to end this chaos within. i don't think it's still bitterness. perhaps, this is still attachment. maybe i'm too scared to let go fully of the past. i'm even more scared to admit that to myself. come to think of it, what would life be when i'm free from all the chains of the past? i'd like to believe that it's better. i feel like i'm using the past as shield to the disappointing present. or, i'm labeling the present as disappointing. Lord, i just know in my heart that i have to let go and allow my faith to You to save me. i will, i will. please.. teach me what i need to learn. teach me something that my soul seems to refuse. i'll give You my full trust. i know that You alone know what is best for me. You know what is best for me. my only task is to trust You. then everything else follows.

let's be positive here

i remember the saying, ditch those people who don't love you. they have no place in your life. don't spend time and energy trying to please someone who can't even find the pleasure of waking up every single day. oh well. i'll try to be positive from then on. there are blessings that are untapped yet. some are already right in front of my face but i still haven't noticed. blessings! blessings! there are numerous blessings that is given to us everyday. we are just too blind to see them. we are blinded by insecurity, past hurts, bitterness, and all the negativity. wake up. wake up. your life is full of blessings. it's time to give it back. be a blessing to someone else.

move on bitch

how can you say when you've really moved on from the past relationship (that includes the past hurts and all hang ups)? all i know that entering into a new relationship doesn't really prove that the past doesn't haunt a person anymore. i feel bothered when i saw her with a new boyfriend. mixed emotions engulfed me. why didn't she tell me? it could be the reason why she no longer seem to care. she even forgot my bday. whatever. she should have told me. we are friends after all. she just doesn't care for the friendship we once had.
how do you say you've moved on?
when you find yourself happy again?
define happiness then.

links

sweet roros every girl should ride.. or didn't even know they're on it..
http://astigirl.blogspot.com/2008/07/last-sweet-roro.html

luis katigbak's blog
http://songsinthecity.blogspot.com

sarah meier's blog
http://mydadknewhendrix.blogspot.com

grief is a journey
http://mourningtojoy.blogspot.com

filipino mom blogger
http://aboutmyrecovery.com

do more!

lately, i've been unhappy. some clutter still resides in my heart. some i'm not even aware of. the biggest clutter i have is the past with J. it's like i am paralyzed. i feel like i can't do things anymore. there is an empty hole in my heart. i decided to remove j in my life. but that huge hole never fails to catch my attention. i still stare at that hole, thinking that there used to be something that fills up that hole. i know that j can't be returned to that hole. simply because j no longer fits in that hole. when i tried to placed j back before in that hole, j made i worse by widening the hole. j is a small creature that i have no use in my life. that sounds harsh. my necessity for j has expired. i mean, even if i attempt to have j back, it's just not right.
i continue living my life with an awareness of that hole. i pretend and put up a front that i can do this on my own. regardless of what i think and feel in my heart, i just know that i have to do more and that i can do more. life isn't about being always happy. it's about creating meaning and living by the greatest principle..love.