there's nothing more depressing than feeling really worthless.. i'm not romantically speaking.. it's actually worse than that.. it's really an awful feeling.. when you're being judged.. and you know that they have the right to judge you.. and what hurts is you know you did your best but still, it wasn't good enough..and then you start to question your worth..hayy.. what have i done to deserve this Lord? am i really that bad? sometimes i would think that i should just die.. but no.. i wanna die happy.. i want my last memories on earth to be happy.. tsk.. i'm not good enough.. now i know how a suicidal's mind works.. and this pain that i feel because of her seems endless! why? i really tried not to care.. why? why Lord? this is torture..
since you're God and i have to do the work.. i WILL NOT turn back now.. j__ and i are really over.. there's zero possibility that we can still be together.. i just have to be at peace with that fact..
now, on being articulate in English, hmmmm.. that stuff can be learned with intense study..
Lord, have mercy on me.. i did something awful a while ago.. tsk.. sorry..
hayy..shit happens in life..
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