paramita album

full of angst resulting from a relationship that had gone bad.
makes you wallow, drown yourself temporarily in that pool of bitterness, which isn't so bad at all. it would make you realize that it's not worth it having a dip on that same pool.
expect a flashflood of memories with the heart-piercing lyrics and mellow mood of the song.

one step at a time

right now, i'm taking life one step at a time. i just got out of college and i'm now in full control of my life. it's up to me to choose which path to take. when i think about it, there's really no path laid for each one of us. there are trails that are left by those who have come ahead. along the way, there are people we meet but as we go on, we'll realize that we are really alone. those people will come and go. we may develop a special attachment to them but really no matter how long they've stayed, they will go.
right now, i'm on my own. it's up to me on how i'm going to get "there." to that place where we will all end up. i have my goals. sort of a mission in life. just like what bo sanchez said, "bite size it!" he gave michael jordan as an example. michael scores 32 points per game. how does he do it? he took it one step at a time. that's 8 points per quarter. oh yeah.

haunted

it's the time again when i'm haunted by sad memories. i know i have no choice but to close that chapter in my life and i'm about to enter a new one. maybe i'm scared. maybe i'm too scared becaue i don't really know what's in store for me outside my comfort zone. it's scary. that i refuse to leave my comfort zone even if it's not too comfortable anymore. Lord. please. help. me. i can't do this alone. i don't want to be bitter. i want to be better.

enough!

i'm never enough for you.
stupid. don't let your bitterness consume you.
there are a lot of things coming for you.
shit i think i'm developing an alter ego.

you're thinking the wrong thing

you know what to do yet you keep on complaining. always keep in mind the bigger picture. there is a reason for everything that is happening. just have faith in Me. i know where to lead You. do what you gotta do and give it your best shot. you already know your purpose. life is not for you only. offer everything to Me and to others. don't be selfish. change your autopilot.

oh Lord

dear Lord, it's getting really old. you've been letting me carry weight one after the other even when i haven't fully recovered from the first hollow block, you've already added a new one. is this a calling? do you want me to be a nun? shocks. seriously? well, i'm going to be honest with you. it would be hard for me to accept the vow of celibacy! that would make me feel deprived. haha. anyway. please lead me to where you want me to go. i think it's abroad. that's the first thing that pops to my mind. Lord God, you know i've been really struggling to meet you halfway. i don't know how i'm going to settle my wants and needs to Your demands. let's be realistic here. it's not easy to just give up and follow the path of Jesus. i want to take it little by little. i'll do my best to show my love for You and for others.

it's still killing me

i'm still hurt. no matter how hard i deny it. deep inside me it's still so painful. i don't want to hear from you. i just don't. you still have power over me. i don't want anything from you. you don't have to give me anything, not even an explanation. it's like i'm shutting you out of my life all over again. but really..this is something i have to do. i don't want to be unstable again. maybe i'm self-centered for thinking too much about myself. i just loved you too much..way too much.. and it's hard to recover. give me something when i'm somewhere far away na. haha. but then that would more expensive. you're a good person. we all have shortcomings. things happened for a reason. whatever those reasons are, we'll know in the future. let's look at the bigger picture here. this is just part of something. could be something bigger. haha. ala heroes. i'm addicted to that show. you should watch it you know. i'll remember what you said. to find something that would bring out the best in me. i will be the best. mark my word. i will be the best.