Peace

I don't want my emotions to take over me, so I'll let it all out here.

I got pissed with this girl in the bus. She clearly has no manners. I ACCIDENTALLY stepped on her foot. When instances like that, I automatically say sorry. I may have mumbled or whispered to myself my "sorry". Then this girl went on to bicker about me not saying sorry. Bitch, if you don't want your foot to be stepped on, don't FUCKING place it on the aisle!

Oh well. Here's your BIG LOUD FUCKING SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello 2011

Do you hate me for not talking to you deeply? I guess I've been so distracted. I haven't really felt your presence. Was I too happy to need you? I apologize for that. I feel so empty inside. Maybe it's waiting for you to come in? I dunno, really. I'll hang on for now. I hope to have a really blessed year. Good health and safety for me and my family are more than enough for me. love you.

heavy heart

Yeah, I have to walk away from those happy days. Lord, my heart is so heavy. I lift up my burdens to you. This is once again something that is beyond my power. You know how I really feel. You know my intentions. Please help me say the right things at the right time. This is not easy. I hope and pray that I can get through this alive. Lord, You are once again testing me. I trust You Lord. Please help me. Please. Ease my burden. I trust that You are doing this for a reason. I trust You. I trust my life to You. Please help me clean my name before I leave the company. Please help me explain myself to my boss. Please help me make myself understood. Please O Lord. I beg You.

Success at MAMA!!

I'm so proud of 2NE1 for their success in today's MAMA! I can't help but be teary eyed because all their hard work paid off. They poured all their efforts and they deserve every award they got. I've never been a fan before so this is all new to me. I feel that as a fan, I was there every step of the way. Now that they have been rewarded, I just can't help but grow even fonder of these girls. If given the chance, I want them to know how much they inspire me to always do my best no matter what.

I also love the YG family love they have shown. Even though I'm just a fan, I feel like I'm part of that family.

lost

Lost and headed nowhere
Void of all feelings
Empty beyond doubt
Passion lacking

Please save me

Obsession kills

I'm beginning to think that my obsession is in KPOP, particularly with 2NE1 is consuming me. I spend my every waking day thinking about them. The big chunk of time during the day is spent in front of the computer, surfing the net and finding something new about KPOP. It's like I lost control and let this urge of obsessing over Koreans take over me. According to Bo Sanchez, obsession is a way to fill emptiness in each of us. I think it's our coping mechanism working when we unintentionally develop an obsession. I also think that obsession is a reflection of the desires of our hearts. Paula Rinehart tells her readers that it is important not to disregard our desires. We should let it lead us because it is where we will discover the reason for living. I guess what really bothers me right now is that I don't have balance in my life right now. I like KPOP too much and 2NE1 way tooooo much. While there is nothing wrong about liking something so much, there still has to be balance. I should go back to the balancing everything in my life so that I'd be able to feel the peace again.

I haven't said this in a long time. Thank you Lord. I will always be thankful for everything.

I like you because..

I was completely blown away by your performance. At first, I was not aware that you had that effect on me. It was unexplainable feeling that came over me. Looking back, I realized that it was your charisma that's overflowing on stage that really got me hooked. I watched 2NE1 TV and somehow I have gotten to know you more. I see myself in you. You are that type of person who puts on a tough facade but deep inside there is an undeniable softness that just goes unexpressed. You inspire me to always do my best in whatever I do. I hope one day I would get to meet you.